静以养心

Johnny Rzeznik

 

I am a question to the world,
Not an answer to be heard.
All a moment that’s held in your arms.
And what do you think you’d ever say?
I don’t listen anyway?
You ignore me,
And I will never be what you want me to be.

And what do you think you’d understand?
I’m a boy, not a man.
You can take me and throw me away.
And how can you learn what’s never shown?
Yeah, you stand here all alone.
They don’t know me ’cause I’m not here.

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don’t feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They’re the ones that stay the same.
The don’t know me,
‘Cause I’m not here.

And you see the things they never see
All you wanted, I could be
Now you know me, and I’m not afraid
And I wanna tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man?
They can break me
As long as I know who I am

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don’t feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They’re the ones that stay the same.
They can’t see me,
But I’m still here.

They can’t tell me who to be,
’cause I’m not what they see.
And the world is still sleepin?
While I keep on dreamin?for me.
And they’ll want to just whispers,
And lies that I’ll never believe.

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don’t feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They’re the ones that stay the same.
I’m the one now,
’cause I’m still here.

I’m the one,
’cause I’m still here.
I’m still here.
I’m still here.
I’m still here.

   近期处于崩溃的边缘，时而觉着很绝望，时而觉着有点希望，如此反复。每天在网上游走于太傻，寄托，KINA论坛和各学校的网页之间，从绝望中寻找希望，精神处于混乱之中….

      前些天去考试的时候错过了华为的招聘,还觉得挺可惜的.因为在我之前就业办的学工助理学长就是去华为了,所以对华为一直有好感.今天东软来招聘的时候觉得可以去看看现在的企业是要什么样的人才.和班上几个同学一块儿去招聘现场看了介绍,下午还和他们一块去笔试去了.完全是凑热闹心态,因为发现笔试的主要内容是数据结构,当年就没怎么学好,现在也基本忘光光了,瞎写了半天我都觉得有点惨不忍睹了,结果晚上还收到明天的面试通知了,小小激动下,第一次得到大公司面试的机会,还是没头没脑瞎撞的.还奇怪和我同去的那个同学学习比我好多倍竟然他没被通知,惋惜….

         Space有一个月左右没有更新,让不少默默关注我的朋友有点失望了.没有更新的原因似乎是自己很忙,其实忙也是借口,也不在乎那点时间不是?实际上那些日子一直处于抑郁的状态,甚至有点自闭倾向,我的QQ一直处于隐身状态,没有一点聊天的欲望.不久看了篇文章说是抑郁的时间太常会有自虐和自杀的倾向,似乎自己是闪过这种念头?!怕怕…..